3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
