Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
