I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
