every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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