Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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