garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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