There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
