the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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