Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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