I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
