Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
