I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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