Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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