I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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