The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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