Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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