he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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