I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
