i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
