gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We had to coat check the pizza.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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