So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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