He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
