She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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