need another drink. this is the easiest way
My underwear smells like fireworks.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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