I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
