We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
