Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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