i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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