and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Come on in and take your pants off
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