dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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