I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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