meet me or not, i'm out of control
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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