He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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