that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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