Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
