I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
