Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
