handjob tips. give me some.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
