but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
