I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
