Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
