do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
