just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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