A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize