whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
