She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
