I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
