Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
