totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
