I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't deserve a penis
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
