is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
