is wine microwaveable?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
