Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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