Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
