is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
