i don't like sucking hair
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
