Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
