In the future we'll all be gay
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
