win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
