We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize