Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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