I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize