Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
