Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
